Dawn Hockey's Story

02-Jul-2010

On Monday the 8th June 2009 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At only 27 years old and 12 weeks pregnant with my second child the odds should have worked in my favour. I was also still breastfeeding my first child, William who was only 10 months old.
I had visited my GP approximately 3 weeks earlier with a large non-painful lump in my left breast. My GP referred me straight away to my local breast clinic and they examined me and performed biopsies. I had to wait a week for the test results and no one was expecting the diagnosis I received.
I had told my husband Michael, a week before we got the results, that if the news was bad, I was keeping my baby, whatever it took. He knows me very well and knew that I meant every word I said. He told me that we would cross that bridge when we came to it but that he was sure everything would be ok.
The minutes after the consultant delivered the news are pretty hazy, but one thing I know is that my first question was "What about my baby?". My consultant was fairly sure my only option was a termination. He said it would make my treatment easier. I wasn't willing to accept that and asked him to find me an alternative. I even asked if it was possible to delay my treatment in order to save my unborn child. He referred me immediately to an oncologist for his opinion. I had to stop feeding William with immediate effect. As the surgery was booked for the 1st July, I didn't even have the time to wean him gradually over a couple of days or weeks. We literally had to go "cold turkey". I was devastated and so was William. He didn't understand why he couldn't nurse and had to make do with cuddles. I fed him for the last time the day after I got the results. I cried pretty much all the way through.
When I met my oncologist, Mr Sykes, he was very reassuring and positive about my pregnancy. He had treated another lady who had also been pregnant at the time of diagnosis and who has successfully received chemotherapy while pregnant. She went on to have a healthy baby and had fully recovered herself. She had been considerably further on in her pregnancy than me, but it was still possible for me to keep my baby. He was familiar with my obstetrician and said he would speak to him regarding my situation to get his opinion. My surgery was planned for the 1st July, when I would be 15 weeks pregnant.
I had a choice when it came to surgery. It was possible to simply have the lump itself removed, and the lymph nodes that appeared to be affected. Or I could have a mastectomy and a full clearance of all axillary lymph nodes. After taking the advice of my oncologist, my surgeon and my obstetrician, I decided on a mastectomy and clearance of all lymph nodes. The main reason was the length and quantity of the anaesthetic I would receive. We all felt it was less risk to my baby if I had one longer single anaesthetic, as opposed to possibly several shorter ones.
At some point in the middle of all my appointments I made enquiries to my local infant feeding co-ordinator, Helen Howard, as to my options regarding how Alex should be fed. I was devastated that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed. I had found a website that gave me a glimmer of hope and wanted to find out if there was any way around my situation. The website that I found was the blog of an American woman who had also undergone treatment for cancer while pregnant. She had expressed her breast milk all the way through her treatment and had kept her milk supply going so that when her chemotherapy was over, she could breastfeed her baby. I wanted to ask Helen if this was possible, even though I would only have one breast. She told me it wasn't something she was familiar with but would do her best to find out and get back to me as soon as possible.

When I got the phone call from Helen to say I would be able to do this, I was over the moon. I couldn't believe that there was even a chance that I would be able to breastfeed. I assumed that in the meantime, Alex would be fed formula, but Helen told me that there might be another option. Because in all likelihood Alex would be premature, she felt confident that he would benefit from donor breast milk. She was confident that we could get the funding for it too and set about making enquiries.

Finally it seemed like not everything was bad news. I kept it regular contact with Helen all through my pregnancy and she was a huge source of information and support. She brought me an electric pump ready to use as soon as baby was born.

I saw my obstetrician on a regular basis, more or less every two weeks right up until the week Alex was born. He wanted to check the growth of him and keep an eye on me. The plan was to let me get as far into my pregnancy as possible and to then induce me so that baby and me didn't get too tired or weak.

The operation went smoothly and I had a scan the day after to check that baby was ok. I've never felt so relieved. I was allowed home the following day, much to everyone's surprise.

I began my chemotherapy treatment on September 24th at 27 weeks pregnant. My obstetrician kept a very close eye on Alex and me. We had growth scans every two weeks. After two doses of chemotherapy, at 32 weeks and 2 days pregnant, my obstetrician decided we were doing so well he would revise his earlier opinion and let my pregnancy progress further than the 34-week mark, when he had planned to induce my labour. We were both doing so well that he thought we could go on a little longer.

Alex, however, had other ideas. On Saturday 31st October I began to bleed and very shortly afterwards began to have contractions. I made my way to Stepping Hill, with Michael and my Mum, feeling very worried and not knowing what was happening.

At 00.32 on 1st November, Alexander James Baxter Hockey was born weighing 4lbs 10oz. Initially he was on a drip but was soon changed to a naso-gastric tube. Because of various issues around the funding of the donor milk, Michael and I were persuaded into a decision to feed Alex formula. Our baby was hungry and there was no donor milk for him to have. We felt we had no choice. His feeds were started while we waited for news of the donor milk. After several days of mixed messages and constant phone calls, we finally got the funding, but only until Alex was 34 weeks gestation. By the time the milk arrived it meant he would get donor breast milk for four days.

Although this was better than none, we were very disappointed. Helen reassured us that she would do everything in her power to get us more. I had been expressing regularly on the ward and on the neonatal unit and had managed to only express small amounts. I was determined to continue despite various negative comments from staff and even friends and family.

When the donor milk arrived we experienced yet more negativity and lots of confusion. Should it be mixed with formula? Should it have supplements added to it? Why was I so determined for him to have it anyway?

Formula was just as good. I felt as though the staff thought I was doing the wrong thing and sometimes wondered if I should just give in to them. I felt strongly though that it was the best for my baby and that was exactly what he deserved so with Helens support I carried on.

We went through an appeal process, gaining support from my GP, my oncologist, several paediatricians from Tameside and Glossop patient care trust and of course Helen. It was agreed that the funding would continue while the appeal went through and we eventually won the decision for Alex to have donor milk until I could commence breastfeeding myself.

It felt like a real victory and we were so relieved.

Alex came home almost three weeks after he was born at 35 weeks and 5 days, fully bottle-fed and receiving only donor breast milk. We had been told to mix the breast milk with a supplementary food, but on Helen's advice we dropped this and simply increased the volume he was receiving. As you can see from his growth chart, Alex has come on in leaps and bounds since then.

I continued to express throughout my chemotherapy, but never established enough of a supply to sustain Alex. I am still proud of what I attempted to do and that I carried him despite being told it would be better for me if I didn't. He has suckled a number of times and latched on straight away. He knew immediately what to.
We have been on a real roller coaster of a journey together, and our bond is an incredibly strong one because of this.

Alex is now a happy healthy 6 month old, and has been weaned fully onto formula now for approximately three weeks. I really believe that he had the best start to life that he could have had in the circumstances, all thanks to Helen, Lynda and the donor breast milk.